Bastardly bastard

Here’s a story.

I got an email from a lawyer. Ok, he said he is a lawyer, but wrote to me like an idiotic con man.

The lawyer (I hate to use this word, lets just refer this lawyer as bastard for ease of reference and compatibility), ok, the bastard wrote to inform me that a client of his has passed away during the Tsunami and left a huge sum of money at the bank intact up till now. So the bank has referred to our bastard here to find the client next of kin to toss all the money or the bank will confiscated the whole sum.

So I happened to have a same last name with his client, was invited by this bastard to work out something crooked so I can inherited the fortune with a good split proposed by this bastard (60/40 and that 60 goes to him…bastardly bastard!).

I wanted to reply but thought better of it. I don’t want to provoke. But let me just write here what I would’ve replied if I were to write back.

Dear Mr Wanker,
First I don’t like your name, it spelt funny and I’, pretty sure there could be a reason why your parents spelt your name incorrectly. True enough you grew up incorrectly.
Second, try buy yourself or your legal firm who handled presumably rich clients with millions stacked in banks, a server of your own. Using yahoo email will not sell your story you cheap skate monkey. I bet you look like monkey too (you behave like one though)
Third, go and find a decent job than whatever you’re doing right now. Your name sound suitable for you to work at Restaurant Kampong Pandan, Restaurant Pelita or any mamak stall behind Concorde Hotel or Doraisamy, KL.
Good luck, you cheating bastard.

~ by pickholes on July 9, 2008.

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